My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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