thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Randomize
