I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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