I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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