Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
