there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
