Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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