am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
