bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
