Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
