hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
