Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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