thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
