the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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