I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
