i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
