Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
