i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
