Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
