brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
