He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
