Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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