you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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