dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
