When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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