i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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