Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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