You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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