the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
