U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
