is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
