All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
