as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
