so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
