i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
