i think i have two assholes
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
