Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
