i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
