You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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