haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
