they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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