This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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