You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
