My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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