Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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