just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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