Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
