Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
