My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
