I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
