I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
